I See You

Dear Colin,

At 31 weeks, your Dad and I decided to take some 3D ultrasound pictures of our little pea pod.  I thought it would be a really good bonding experience for us as parents-- and especially for your Dad who doesn't get to see or feel you move around the way that I do.  

I'm really glad we decided to do it!  I could lie in the doctor's office all day looking at your sweet face.  (That is, if you let me!  Apparently, you are pretty stubborn and move around quite a bit.  You don't really care to be bothered by the nurses or ultrasound techs.)

This is a picture of your face, and your little arms are wrapped up around your head.  Apparently, you are already head-down, and wrapped up in the fetal position with your back arched to my left side and your feet to my right-- kind of like an upside down "C" for Colin.  Clearly, you are a genius baby :)

I've had several people state that they think you look like your Dad, and I agree!  The ultrasound tech said you have a little bit of hair on the back of your head-- like a mullet.  But is it a brown mullet or a ginger mullet?  I can't wait to find out!  Your Dad and I both think you will have dark hair, and I think you will have dark hazel eyes.  But, I also felt very strongly that you were a girl for your first four months, so who knows???  

This was our last ultrasound.  It is hard to believe that the next time I see your face you will be in my arms!  We have about six weeks left to go.  

Some (childless) friends recently asked me if I am ready for you to get here.  In some ways I am, but in many ways I am not.  I feel ill-equipped.  How do you EVER get ready for the biggest challenge and the biggest blessing of your life?  I don't know how to be a mom, but I guess you and I will learn together.

I can't wait to meet you, but please keep on baking as long as you like.

Love,

Mom

Maternity Pictures

Dear Pea,

In early December, your Dad and I decided to get some maternity pictures made.  I had not planned on having maternity pictures because, honestly, I am not photogenic to begin with and I knew that an added 30+ lbs. and additional chins would not help that.  However, a friend told me about a new photographer who was trying to expand her portfolio and willing to do maternity pictures for free.  You can't pass up free...so I didn't :)    

The pictures were taken at Dewberry Farms, which has a huge Christmas tree farm in the winter.  It also has a lot of games, rides, and activities for kids.  Dad and I thought it was a pretty neat place, and I'm sure we'll visit there again one day when you're a little bit older. 

 I was about six months pregnant for these pictures and had a very noticeable bump.  Unfortunately, my little pot belly is hidden by my jacket in most of the pictures.  It was FRIGID the day of the pictures, and it was also extremely windy. 

Despite the miserable weather, I'm pretty happy with our little photo shoot.  In retrospect, I should have had your Nana do my hair and makeup.  I also should have worn a better fitting bra!  It is mostly sports bras these days for me.  (My friend Ashley made the little photo prop belt for the pictures.)  

At the end of the session, the photographer mentioned that these may be the last pictures your Dad and I have of just the two of us.  That comment made me sad because I recognize the truth in it.  We're excited to become a party of three (or five, if you include your fuzzy sisters) and are ready to expand our family, but life sure is going to change in a big, big way!   

This is my favorite picture from the photo shoot, even though we are not "tractor people." I love your Dad so much, and cannot wait to see him "in action" as a father. 

Love,

Mom

Wonderland

Dear Colin,

When your Dad and I found out you were on the way, we spent an entire evening just googling different crazy pregnancy symptoms.  What we discovered is that EVERYTHING is a pregnancy symptom.  The only thing we searched that did not turn up as a pregnancy indicator was "excessive hang nails."  Sadly, I cannot use my "delicate condition" as a reason to get extra manicures. 

Based on the past 32 weeks, I'm tentatively putting myself in the camp of people who enjoy being pregnant.   I have not had any morning sickness, excessive swelling, or stretch marks...yet!  My feet also have stayed the same size.  I was really worried they would go up a size and I would have to buy all new shoes (on second thought, maybe that wouldn't have been so bad!)    

Nevertheless, things with my body continue to get curiouser and curiouser every week.  Here are some of the symptoms I've experienced over the past seven months:

• Heart burn: I never had heart burn prior to pregnancy, but I imagined it would feel like burning around your...heart.  Instead, it feels like burning in the throat/esophagus and leaves me feeling slightly nauseous.  I get it almost every night, and EVERYTHING gives me heartburn these days except for water.   
• Sleeping: Sleeping is my favorite.  But it is hard to get comfortable these days since I feel so huge and awkward.  I have to sleep kind of sitting up and propped on three or four pillows.  Heartburn and having to pee 352 times a night also make sleep much more difficult.  This pregnancy effect has impacted your dad as well.  He cannot sleep because I have started snoring like jack hammer at night!  I don't feel too bad about it, though.  After all...he got me into this and needs to pay his dues as well :)  
• Bladder Control: This is gross, and I cannot believe I'm about to put it on the world wide web...but just about every time I sneeze or cough, I pee my pants a little.  This by far is the worst pregnancy symptom for me, and I am praying it goes away after delivery.  Also, if I change positions from sitting to standing or standing to lying too suddenly, I need to use the restroom immediately.  Luckily, your dad has a potty sense of humor and finds this hilarious rather than disgusting.
• Back Pain: Standing on my feet for too long (an hour or so) results in excruciating lower back pain that lasts the rest of the day-- and maybe even into the next day.  I am so grateful I have a desk job! Walking or sitting helps.  Frequent back rubs and pampering from your dad also helps. 
• Diabetes Scare: Right before Christmas I failed my glucose test for gestational diabetes and had to take the three hour follow-up test.  This was a really difficult time for me because I was so worried you would have complications at birth and later in life related to GD and that it would be my fault.  With the follow-up test, I had to fast for 12 hours and then give a blood sample.  After that blood sample, I had to drink a disgusting sugar drink and give three more blood samples every hour for three hours.  Thankfully, the follow-up test came back negative!  It was a scary time, though, that still gets me very emotional.  I didn't care so much about my health since it is pretty easily treatable, but I did not want to do anything that would harm you or your future or put you at a disadvantage.       

My body feels a little like a wonderland right now-- I never know what the next day or week will bring (just no stretch marks or varicose veins, please!)  I feel comfortable with my expanding belly because I know my body is doing exactly what it was meant to do.  All of these "symptoms" (yes, even peeing my pants!) are well worth having a desperately desired son-- You!  

Love,

Mom 

What's In A Name

Dear Pea,

I had the best of intentions, but have been extremely pathetic in keeping up with this blog.  I am going to try to do better, because we've had a lot of fun memories that I don't want to forget.

One of those memories is FINALLY picking a name for our little Pea :)  It was not an easy task, as your dad and I could not agree on anything!  Technically, we still haven't agreed on your name.  We just started calling you this around November and it stuck.  It's almost like you named yourself!  I have to admit, your name is not my favorite boys' name, but I do love it and could not imagine calling you anything else.

Your sweet name is...

COLIN MATTHEW SCOTT

I came across the name Colin in a baby name blog and thought it incorporated elements from other names we liked but couldn't quite commit to for whatever reason.  We looked at top boys' names in Texas from the Social Security website, and neither Colin nor Collin made the top 100 list.  This sold it for your dad, who wanted something unique but not "weird."   

Matthew, of course, is your dad's first name.  For me, it is extremely important that a middle name is a family name; and I wanted to honor your dad because he is my favorite person.  Cheesy, but true! 

I embroidered your name on your (expensive) baby blanket before your dad could change his mind :)  That was really risky and kind of sneaky, but I was ready for you to have a real name rather than just Pea or Wilder.

For fun, here are some of the other top contenders that we considered for your name.  Maybe one day you will have a little brother (or two) with one of these names:

• Jacob
• Issac
• Parker
• Landon
• Connor
• Andrew
• Declan

So far, we have received mostly positive comments about your name.  (And I completely understand why some people keep their baby's names secret.  People are not shy to share their opinions-- solicited or not!)  The only things that worry me are that people will misspell it as Collin (your dad thought that looked too much like a last name) or mispronounce it as "colon."  I'm sure you will have to deal with both of these issues a few times in your life, but hopefully they won't be too much of a problem.

I received one funny response after I told a co-worker your name. She asked, "But what are you going to call him?"  Ummm...what??  We're going to call you Colin, because that's your name!  And I think it's the perfect name for my Pea!

Love,

Mom